I SUCK in everything. Relationships, studies, life.
Why am i always the one who’s the stupidest among all of them?
They get excellent marks while i get damn low marks.
Damn it…in conclusion, i SUCK in everything. EVERYTHING!!!!
Yeah…finally back….it’s been quite a long time since i’ve wrote. In a nutshell…during the easter holidays… three events occur:
1) Went to notts and sheffield with bash, azmie, bebeh and shahbi
2) Went to Paris with bash, azmie, bebeh and epy. (one of the best holidays ever)
3) Went to Alton towers with azmie, shi ying, syuen, shahbi, rapek, bash, bebeh, argen, k.shaza, k.idlan, eivani, k.jun, k.baiya, hanif, joe, rin, diana, caca and shiow shen. (it was hell lot of fun)
But…holidays are over…and right now…have to damn concentrate on upcoming exams. First paper starts on the 14th of May. I’m so freaking out rite now. At the mean time…i’m missing someone so badly. I’ve never felt like this for such a long time. Eventhough there’s nothing special going on between me and him but i feel much better when he’s there to listen to my problems and comfort me when i’m feeling so depressed.
Anyways…exams come first….wish me luck.
*hugs*
Lent term started a week ago…new timetable, new classes, new lecture theatres, new lecturers, new tutorials, new tutors. My timetable for this term is quite flexible except for Thursday. 5 classes on Thursday and two of em are of the same subject. Comments about the lecturers? ACF 212, the lecturer a.k.a Pelham Gore is a strict guy. Can’t be late for his class, but his way of teaching, I like. Can understand wut his trying to deliver. Moving on to ACF 213, Wendy Beekes a.k.a new Malaysian member (only Malaysian Lancasterians understand), well..her voice is loud therefore u won’t fall asleep in her class, however her flaw is, her jokes are lame. Damn…i never get her jokes. Next subject, MSCI 224, Richard Eglese, he’s quite fun. Not bad. Not bad at all. Last but not least, the worst of em all, MATH 270, John Gilbert. OMG….how do i even begin to explain him? In short, he makes me want to fall asleep in class, he’s mumbling by himself, i dun understand his handwriting etc etc. This could go on and on and on. But, he’s still my lecturer so i respect him. Well, this blog entry is gonna be short. I’ve nothing else to write about. Whn something interesting in my life happens, i’ll definitely post it here. Tk cr. Muahxxxx
FRIENDS..everyone has a different opinion on what it actually means. It can mean anything. Some people take the meaning of FRIENDS seriously, whereas others don’t. After witnessing certain situations, the meaning of FRIENDS is a big question mark to me now. Try and picture this. U welcome a new friend in your life. U gave him/her the special treatment, invite him/her to every ocassion u organize, make sure he/she is not left out. Introduce him/her to your friends. Then, the both of you are comfortable with each other, u tend to share secrets with each other. Suddenly, one day….he/she lied to you, he/she was ashame to introduce you to his/her friends without knowing what the reason was, he/she was avoiding you, he/she was isolating himself from your group of friends. U’ve helped him/her alot in the past but suddenly, out of the blue, he/she backstabs you, doesn’t really treat u or appreciate u as his/her friend. That’s so B*LLS**T. Damn it. A true friend will not do those things, or if those things happened, a true friend will realise it, and come up with an apology and an explanation.
Another situation, a true friend will know his/her limits when a conversation is involved. You can’t just simply say anything u wanna say. U have to have certain limits. Certain things might hurt you friends in a way. Don’t be SO ARROGANT. For example, when ur engaged in a conversation about money, make sure u analyze people around you that might not be comfortable about this conversation. Or, when your having a conversation with ur friends from other countries, don’t be a big show off about your country. Each country has their own pride and things that they can be proud off. Lastly, don’t criticise people buying cheap things. If u dun like it, than BACK OFF. Don’t go and say things like.."ewww…cheap stuff". It hurts…alot. I know that u have LOADS of MONEY that u can spent on branded stuff, but be more considerate to others who can’t afford it. Statements like that can hurt your friends really bad and leave a deep wound in their hearts. So people…do know your limits alright. I may not be a good friend either. I may have hurt certain people directly or indirectly, but deep down inside me, i appreciate my friends so damn much. Friends are one of the precious gifts in the world.
Apocalypto….To seek a new beginning. APOCALYPTO…another Mel Gibson movie. When i first watched the trailer…i find it scary. I said to myself i’m never gonna watch this movie ever…but when the trailers keep playing on the TV..somehow it boosts up my interest to watch it so yesterday…i had the chance to watch it together with Bash, K.Jun, Rapek, Mc and Argen. The lead actor, Rudy Youngblood, played his role (Jaguar Paw) really well. Thumbs up to the other actors and actresses as well. You get to experience what was it like to live during the Mayan civilization. Mel Gibson did a great job by using Mayan language (i dunno what language it was) which is about to extinct around this time of the era. The movie was violent and brutal. Back then they just don’t care of murdering other people, taking other peoples lives. They dont care about children loosing their parents. I feel pity for the little ones whom have to witness their parents death in front of their eyes. They murder other people as a symbol of sacrifice to their God. It’s just not right. This movie also shows the pure love of a man for his family. Some of the scenes really touched my heart and i recommend it to u guyz to watch this movie. Overall, i rate it a 4 out of 5. And people…plz dun listen to others who dun wanna watch it. If u wanna watch this movie..just watch. It’s worth your money.
this winter’s holiday was one of the best holidays…my family came to england to visit me…and we went to italy for a week…there are some bad memories but hey…what’s an interesting holiday without a mixture of memories right?
FINALLY…the year 2007 is here…and this yr is the first time i’ve listed my new year’s resolutions…there are ten of em..to be exact…i seriously wanna forget the year of 2006…it’s one of the worst years i’ve experienced my entire life…i wanna put it behind my back and looking forward to have a great 2007…i’m gonna try my best to stick to all ten of my resolutions…so..from this day onwards..say BYE-BYE to LIANA OF 2006…..and HELLO to LIANA OF 2007…LIANA of 2006 is GONE!!!!!!!!
From this day onwards….no more negative thinking, no more depression, less shed of tears, STOP "pitying" myself over stupid stuff, get that certain someone OUT of MY MIND…and always be HAPPY.
I’m really looking forward to have a great 2007. Adios…
Why can’t i just be happy for at least one day? Kenape ade je something that’ll make me cry or feel angry? Why? Why? Why? I was just about to be happy after so long i suffered from depression…and than something came up that make me feel sad and angry…KENAPE? And..the bad news is…when something bad comes up that makes me feel angry or sad…i will remember all my past problems yg tak settle2 lagi..my problems yg di pendam sekian lame…and i guarantee u…i’m gonna suffer a major migrain soon…dammit…i just wanna be happy….i’m asking for HAPPINESS…is that so hard????? I JUST WANT A LIL BIT OF HAPPINESS…PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!
I’m starting this post by expressing my gratitude to my Lancaster buddies whom have really made my weekend a splendid one.
Last Thursday and Friday…i was suffering from depression. It is a time where i dun feel like eating, i feel like crying, i feel like being alone, lock myself in my room etc. It was a really tough time. I felt like going to see a psychologist or eating anti-depression pills…but i know the best way if ur having depression is to recite Yaasin..and pray to Allah…mintak hati ditenangkan. Apart from that…i didn’t know wut my weekend would be like because of the fact that Az went to Paris to spend her weekend with Nazmi’s family..awwww…that’s so sweet. I hope she’s having a really great time over there. But then, on Friday..azmi called..and said that’s inviting me to his room to have a small "Back-to-Brunei" party for Bebeh who’s leaving for Brunei the next day with Rozie. Many people were invited. There were me, bash, azmi, rgen, mc, lopes, k.shaza, bebeh and rapek. It was kind of a pot-luck basis so i brought cucur. It’s suppose to be cekodok but somehow it looks like cucur. Hihi…and the menu for the night was ayam masak lemak (yummy), ikan pari masin and paprik (cooked by K.shaza). The dishes were so yummy that i had a second helping. After eating..we watched a malay movie (Senario, Pemburu Emas Yamashita). As usual…that story is nothing but crap but hey…it’s good for a few laughs. After the movie, rapek, rgen, mc k.shaza and bebeh left. So yg tinggal were azmi, me, bash and lopes. We were looking through the trailers of new movies and there are lots of great movies that will be out soon. The movies that i’m looking forward to watch are Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix and A Night in the Museum. After watching the trailers…we watched amovie entitled Braveheart. I didn’t find it interesting so around 3am in the morning..i went back to my roomand fell asleep.
The next day….me, bash, k.jun, rapek and lopes went to town to watch a movie "The Holiday". Leading actors and actresses were Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Jack Black. This story really touched my heart. In short, it is a story about people whom have their hearts broken by the one they love. They were trying to get away from it by going on a holiday during Christmas. And little did they know…they found new love however certain things got in the way…but it turned out great in the end. This story did remind me a lil bit of wut i’ve been going through for these past few months. Anyway…after the movie, we went to Chicken Express to grab a bite. Owh dear..the food there was horrible. Bash and i took the Combo meal..consists of two pieces of chicken, fries, coleslaw and a drink. The chicken is not as good as the ones at Mama Mia, the fries were ok coz there was a touch of paprika seasoning on it, and the coleslaw tastes kinda weird. Tapi..bersyukur…coz ade makanan untuk dimakan. Hihi…after eating..we went back to uni…and went to azmi’s room to have a nice hot drink. Around 11.30pm…lopes, rapek and k.jun left. So there were only me and azmi. Azmi handed me a nice purple b’day card from Mc. So..i wanna take dis opportunity to thank him again fro remembering my b’day. Around 12, bash came and brought his bread pudding. After finishing his maths tutorial, we drank another round of tea. After that…we spend a few minutes discussing our holiday. Few minutes after that, Rapek came back to discuss some maths questions. Then we kept on discussing our holiday. There were certain interesting plans but it hasn’t come to any conclusion yet. Around 3.30 am..everyone went back to their rooms and i doozed off. It was a really great weekend. I had a fantastic time. It’s great to have friends around u, u won’t feel lonely. Friends are one of the most precious gifts that u have and please cherish them. Today is Sunday..so i guess i better start with my 214 CW. So…till then. Have a great weekend.
*hugs and kisses*
Owh yeah…i’m back with a brand new post. Dah lame tak update dis blog….owh well…here goes.
I have lots of stories that i feel like putting here…however i think it is irrelevant coz it involves my personal life. Only people who are close to me and those whom i share my problems with, knew wut happened to me for these past few months. Damn…it was da worst experience ever. That’s one of the worst memories that i absolutely wanna forget. However…i wanna take dis opportunity to thank those who have been by my side..and supporting me all da way…help me get through it. The summary of it, i’ve just broke up with my ex bf..and my life after that was quite a living hell. However…i managed to get through it with the help of my precious pals. Being in love is not as easy as u think, and i guess i’m not ready to be in a serious relationship.It takes a lot of commitment and i’m not sure that i’m ready to commit seriously. Owh well…the time will come when i feel ready and the right guy for me will appear in my life. I believe in fate. It’s gonna be hard for me to be in a new relationship after i just broke up. Unlike some people yg cepat gile carik pengganti…wow..amazing…but hey…if u feel he/she is the right person for you…dun miss ur chance. Just go for it. But in my case…i need time to recover from the previous relationship to be in a new one. We have our reasons why we need to end the relationship, and breaking up might be the best solution. Some people say that lepas kite break up…tak payah la nak jadik kawan. Just completely forget him/her. To me..that is totally rubbish…if u guys dah break up…but u can still be friends…wut’s wrong with it? For those yg watch the TV series, Friends…i’m sure u guys notice the relationship between Ross and Rachel…eventhough after they broke up…they manage to still be friends…and keep supporting each other. It’s not wrong to be friends with our ex. It may be awkward at first but lame2..u’ll be fine. If a relationship tak jadi…dun keep blaming the other partner. U may have some flaws urselves but maybe u didn’t notice.
Anyway…in this blog entry…i would also like to thank all of my friends who remembered my birthday. It was a day i’ll never forget. I received lots of birthday wishes from expected and unexpected people. Also..to az, bash, shi ying, rozie, bb, k.shaza, azmie, ep and rgen….u really made my day. Thank u so much for the surprise b’day treat at Spicy Hut, thanks for the birthday cake, the card and of course the presents (Coat ,Boots and bracelet). I feel like crying…terharu sgt2 tp mampu tahan.
These are a few photos during my b’day.
Hehe…Thank u also to K.jun for da b’day card and definitely to my family back home. Gosh…i really miss u guys. Can’t wait to see ‘em this winter.
I guess that’s all for now. Nak sambung tengok anime..hehe..FYI i’ve turned into an anime freak…hihi.
Till then,
*hugs and kisses*
Hmm…asyik2 enter post yg sedih je…i do have happiness in my life…and i wanna share it wif u guyzz….Besides my family…the gift that i cherish the most are definitely my friends…they are the ones who help me through my life…lots of happy memories…i wanna describe all of ‘em but it’ll take me weeks, maybe months, maybe years to describe those memories…so in dis blog…i would like to make a shoutout….special thanx to all who’ve helped me through these years…starting with Adam a.k.a Mada..who’ve helped me countlessly since high school up till now…u were a loyal listener, problem solver….u were there when i need u…u gave me advices…i appreciate it alot…same message goes to Jannah too…who’ve always been there for me…gals of 5 Al-Khawarizmi 2003, deyna, ryna, syaz, pikak, neena…it was great being classmates…lotsa memories…the whole FOFA 9903 clan…Lancaster Uni mates, Az, Bash, Shi Ying, Diana, Azmi….thank u soooo damn much…and another important friend of mine…Najmee…hehe…thanx alot…u’ve always been there for me too…through my ups and downs…i do not know how to repay u guyzz….tp ape yg aku mampu buat…berdoa kpdNye…memohon kesejahteraan dlm hidup korang sume…and hope we’ll stay friends till the end….thank you all.
