Archive for December, 2006

~Depression~

Monday, December 11th, 2006

Why can’t i just be happy for at least one day? Kenape ade je something that’ll make me cry or feel angry? Why? Why? Why? I was just about to be happy after so long i suffered from depression…and than something came up that make me feel sad and angry…KENAPE? And..the bad news is…when something bad comes up that makes me feel angry or sad…i will remember all my past problems yg tak settle2 lagi..my problems yg di pendam sekian lame…and i guarantee u…i’m gonna suffer a major migrain soon…dammit…i just wanna be happy….i’m asking for HAPPINESS…is that so hard????? I JUST WANT A LIL BIT OF HAPPINESS…PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!

Splendid Weekend

Sunday, December 10th, 2006

I’m starting this post by expressing my gratitude to my Lancaster buddies whom have really made my weekend a splendid one.

Last Thursday and Friday…i was suffering from depression. It is a time where i dun feel like eating, i feel like crying, i feel like being alone, lock myself in my room etc. It was a really tough time. I felt like going to see a psychologist or eating anti-depression pills…but i know the best way if ur having depression is to recite Yaasin..and pray to Allah…mintak hati ditenangkan. Apart from that…i didn’t know wut my weekend would be like because of the fact that Az went to Paris to spend her weekend with Nazmi’s family..awwww…that’s so sweet. I hope she’s having a really great time over there. But then, on Friday..azmi called..and said that’s inviting me to his room to have a small "Back-to-Brunei" party for Bebeh who’s leaving for Brunei the next day with Rozie. Many people were invited. There were me, bash, azmi, rgen, mc, lopes, k.shaza, bebeh and rapek. It was kind of a pot-luck basis so i brought cucur. It’s suppose to be cekodok but somehow it looks like cucur. Hihi…and the menu for the night was ayam masak lemak (yummy), ikan pari masin and paprik (cooked by K.shaza). The dishes were so yummy that i had a second helping. After eating..we watched a malay movie (Senario, Pemburu Emas Yamashita). As usual…that story is nothing but crap but hey…it’s good for a few laughs. After the movie, rapek, rgen, mc k.shaza and bebeh left. So yg tinggal were azmi, me, bash and lopes. We were looking through the trailers of new movies and there are lots of great movies that will be out soon. The movies that i’m looking forward to watch are Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix and A Night in the Museum. After watching the trailers…we watched amovie entitled Braveheart. I didn’t find it interesting so around 3am in the morning..i went back to my roomand fell asleep.

The next day….me, bash, k.jun, rapek and lopes went to town to watch a movie "The Holiday". Leading actors and actresses were Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Jack Black. This story really touched my heart. In short, it is a story about people whom have their hearts broken by the one they love. They were trying to get away from it by going on a holiday during Christmas. And little did they know…they found new love however certain things got in the way…but it turned out great in the end. This story did remind me a lil bit of wut i’ve been going through for these past few months. Anyway…after the movie, we went to Chicken Express to grab a bite. Owh dear..the food there was horrible. Bash and i took the Combo meal..consists of two pieces of chicken, fries, coleslaw and a drink. The chicken is not as good as the ones at Mama Mia, the fries were ok coz there was a touch of paprika seasoning on it, and the coleslaw tastes kinda weird. Tapi..bersyukur…coz ade makanan untuk dimakan. Hihi…after eating..we went back to uni…and went to azmi’s room to have a nice hot drink. Around 11.30pm…lopes, rapek and k.jun left. So there were only me and azmi. Azmi handed me a nice purple b’day card from Mc. So..i wanna take dis opportunity to thank him again fro remembering my b’day. Around 12, bash came and brought his bread pudding. After finishing his maths tutorial, we drank another round of tea. After that…we spend a few minutes discussing our holiday. Few minutes after that, Rapek came back to discuss some maths questions. Then we kept on discussing our holiday. There were certain interesting plans but it hasn’t come to any conclusion yet. Around 3.30 am..everyone went back to their rooms and i doozed off. It was a really great weekend. I had a fantastic time. It’s great to have friends around u, u won’t feel lonely. Friends are one of the most precious gifts that u have and please cherish them. Today is Sunday..so i guess i better start with my 214 CW. So…till then. Have a great weekend.

*hugs and kisses*

I’m Back!!!

Wednesday, December 6th, 2006

Owh yeah…i’m back with a brand new post. Dah lame tak update dis blog….owh well…here goes.

I have lots of stories that i feel like putting here…however i think it is irrelevant coz it involves my personal life. Only people who are close to me and those whom i share my problems with, knew wut happened to me for these past few months. Damn…it was da worst experience ever. That’s one of the worst memories that i absolutely wanna forget. However…i wanna take dis opportunity to thank those who have been by my side..and supporting me all da way…help me get through it. The summary of it, i’ve just broke up with my ex bf..and my life after that was quite a living hell. However…i managed to get through it with the help of my precious pals. Being in love is not as easy as u think, and i guess i’m not ready to be in a serious relationship.It takes a lot of commitment and i’m not sure that i’m ready to commit seriously. Owh well…the time will come when i feel ready and the right guy for me will appear in my life. I believe in fate. It’s gonna be hard for me to be in a new relationship after i just broke up. Unlike some people yg cepat gile carik pengganti…wow..amazing…but hey…if u feel he/she is the right person for you…dun miss ur chance. Just go for it. But in my case…i need time to recover from the previous relationship to be in a new one. We have our reasons why we need to end the relationship, and breaking up might be the best solution. Some people say that lepas kite break up…tak payah la nak jadik kawan. Just completely forget him/her. To me..that is totally rubbish…if u guys dah break up…but u can still be friends…wut’s wrong with it? For those yg watch the TV series, Friends…i’m sure u guys notice the relationship between Ross and Rachel…eventhough after they broke up…they manage to still be friends…and keep supporting each other. It’s not wrong to be friends with our ex. It may be awkward at first but lame2..u’ll be fine. If a relationship tak jadi…dun keep blaming the other partner. U may have some flaws urselves but maybe u didn’t notice.

Anyway…in this blog entry…i would also like to thank all of my friends who remembered my birthday. It was a day i’ll never forget. I received lots of birthday wishes from expected and unexpected people. Also..to az, bash, shi ying, rozie, bb, k.shaza, azmie, ep and rgen….u really made my day. Thank u so much for the surprise b’day treat at Spicy Hut, thanks for the birthday cake, the card and of course the presents (Coat ,Boots and bracelet). I feel like crying…terharu sgt2 tp mampu tahan.

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These are a few photos during my b’day.

Hehe…Thank u also to K.jun for da b’day card and definitely to my family back home. Gosh…i really miss u guys. Can’t wait to see ‘em this winter.

I guess that’s all for now. Nak sambung tengok anime..hehe..FYI i’ve turned into an anime freak…hihi.

Till then,

*hugs and kisses*